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Published in

The Art of Autism’s 4th Annual International Poems & Art for Peace Project Kickoff

Severe pain wriggles out from my heart,

from my soul ;the light shines far away

Right within my throat the words  hurry

to   breach the fortress ,annoying my  lips

Roses bloom in sunlight ,my eyes pleased by

nothing  bright  ,turns  to lonely shadows

Some way  which  will take me higher and high

above   my  limits;   every   day  i try   to  find

Utter envy fills my  days as i struggle   to  set  afloat

written thoughts ,while others  shout  their hearts aloud

Trust not any stories cool, or pictures perfect;

every day  is  a challenge but worth taking a chance.

Poems published in the desktop calender for the year 2019 by Autism Club Ernakulam

1

Ocean

Rivers flow in , to me, yet I seek more
The sun sinks in me ,red
My winds cool you at the day’s end.
I am the ocean, I am mighty
I rise with tides, dance with waves
I hold the world as lives drift
I am endless , my depth you
Fail to fathom, I am love.

2

Way to the top

Muddy roads wind along
Slopes to the summit.
Paths slippery,scary to fall
Wind howls cold, blurring sight
Moist leaves shivering off dew
I will take this way but, to the top.

3

Stray Dogs

Man’s best friend, his guide                                                                                                     Chewy bones and cosy mats
For his guard ,his companion                                                                                                  For his child , a buddy close

No kennel no master on the street                                                                                   Garbage piles are party for us.                                                                                                 Why throw stones at us ,stray                                                                                         Born under the bridge, to moan

10,9,8… the  drop in count resonated within the walls

In  my  tiny room i lay listening with a hasty heart

Tip of my tail twitched ,will my pal be back  one day?

To the sun she goes, a  long trip through the clouds.

Under the Russian  flag   your journey starts soon

Rare chance to fly amidst the stars and the moon.

Dare  not to snap at a   comet  by its tail  as  you sail.

Are the unicorn and great  bear   still up in the sky?

Red  sun renews his  face every morning  behind  the hillock

Then  you can hear  me  bark with Alby to chase away the cock

Return night ! you breathe cruel  bad thoughts into my  mind

Under a  mat i would hide when sky boat  spews fire flying.

Earth   will be far  when you watch from  the cosmic glow

Away  i sure will see  your name shine in  the milky  flow

The world will remember you  my  brave friend  who  went

Above  mans head, give him a lesson of being true to all.

We were an  ill fed team of mongrels,  but enjoying bones

Once we were set the cosmic canines  to fly across universe.

Away you  vanish in golden pages of history  and   science

Laika , you  will   always   be my  buddy  .  love  Mushka.

photographs  by my grandma when  she visited space museum  Moscow

This poem was published in the anthology  “FloatPoetry ” on the theme

Re-verse  the Rivers

The mountain tried to reach the cloud

Stop her and ask something with a quiver in voice

The cloud fled as the rocks below began to crumble.

“Water started her turbulent journey here, from up here

From my head, with mist gliding in breeze, is my hair

Dying now I am, where are you my child?  Cloud do you see                                                            her?

Tell me great valley, was she down there with you

Watering the fields that fill the plates as would Ganga do.

Over the murky waves the dolphins leap, gasping.

Unaffected by elements the sages keep chanting.

The Ganga washes their feet, then bids good bye to souls.

Are you there my child, to be in the journey eternal?”

A flute churns curd into love as the mother regrets

Restraining her soul’s cream as he sets out as life’s stream

And there he plunges into the beautiful Yamuna.

Cows tinkling their bells, birds singing sweet

Girls dancing, boys laughing loud with joy.

“Dear I know this is a festival which you do not want to return from”

“Right in front of the Taj do not thin down

Can a river keep everything else and let love drown?

Water why do you take things dirty, to clean the heartless?

Look how ugly a fine silver stuff has become!

Gone are the days when a beauty like you

The Indus, defined civilization and gave birth to a culture great.

Favourite to you dear , were the dancing dolls which you had hidden.

Many boats sailed with you with men of emperors great.

Bound by many dams she is helpless

She chokes as villages vanish for towns.

Did you remember Narmada as calmness blankets mountains

Mutely watching flood and famines.

Meeting with Sabarmathi you should dear believe

Such a human lived as much with flesh and blood.

Have you wound down south ,trailing the scent of jasmine?

Kaveri is a mother whose tears flow into fields of feud.

On the spread of sere sand art dances in stunning colors

Poetry thrives and merits still sprout along Nila.

Men across the land listened

Sankara teaching Advaitha.

Like the uncanny alligator  that held him back

Waters of Periyar is a captive by the thirsty city.

River so strong so beautiful ,singing with the oars that splash

Retarded she flows amidst water front high rises.

Deluge was as never before as Pamba rushed

From the Sahya to the sea, she was roaring.

Man was seeking worldly gains grinding rivers under his feet.

Come back oh dear, my river ,where  are you?

Have you gone deep into the earth to be with Saraswathi?”

Rays of strength start from me, spread boundless, wide

Safe in me lies my soul, very safe from any rule and guide

Set me free from your  scales to assess my losses but

Count nothing, only what I have, all my  grit and gut .

Everything I put against my true self breaks me countless

I whine and scream, you call it your misfortune endless.

A sea  is trying  to reach  you with its corals and pearls

It is not just an unruly wave that splashes on rocks and snarls

Where do I find a judge who will hear me plead

Without giving a judgement on what I need  .

My voice you may not hear but I have lots to share

My heart blossoms into flowers for the ones who care  .

To pure love I respond ,my eye peeks into minds

In there  just too many hurdles one finds

Trust me I  can do  much better, know the job right

Everyday the   me  you see has me  to  fight.

How much  should I deter from my  weirdness

I need  you to love  me  despite my  madness

All  I can give you  is eternal space in  my soul

A sure gift for a  life given  for me whole.

But to me doing what gives new dimensions

To my thoughts and their revisions

Fulfills  in my life  my wish  to be a creator

Of thoughts  effective for  a world tired of all predator  .

To the  pet  cat she  is an  angel ,at  times

Nothing  but a real itching bug  in  my t-shirt

When the  chocolates   are shared   she forgets

The division chapter she had done in school

Still i love her!

Sitting   across the   table

In lovely gardens ,we taste desserts

Really  her portion looks bigger

With  more chocolate chips  on top of it

Still  i  love  her!

Oreo  happens  to be  of her kind

Goodness  hidden in layers  tasty

Today she might  make a pretty    face

And  proclaim ” milk    shake   ready”

Yes! I  want  that!

Rich in flavour ,chocolate cream

Can you  see ? froth and  crumbs

With each sip my tongue feels  cold

But the   warmth  covers my heart

Oh!tasty Oreo shake!

Resisting the desire to finish off

She shares the spoon for a quick lick

This  little sister of mine is a gem.

Happy are we when a snack  is shared

To smile  and shake !

We never cheer for anybody who missed it ,                                                                                                                                           just missed it.

The crowd jostles behind the winner, the winner                                                                                                                                just to touch him

What will the runners up do? just run more  to                                                                                                                                     win some day

What will the losers do? be heart broken and blame                                                                                                                                       their luck

Lonely turns the minute hand  as each moment drags                                                                                                                                   behind  in despair

Average is  not going to  look like best, better                                                                                                                                             make it fast for first.

They say for me ,triumph  advertises   destiny improbable  ,                                                                                                my battle   utterly  fruitless.

A  day will come ,a time for me, when the    gazes turn                                                                                                                                        to   find my face.

Waiting endless for that   dawn when   my   dream   walks  to                                                                                                                                         reality waking

Put  some  more effort,  real  struggle and a true wish to go for                                                                                                                                         sheer  heights.

A day to discover   the  real  me  standing  with my   trophy  awarded                                                                                                                              for a loving heart

A  turbulent mind yet  sawing  out hope,  just a handful of hope ,                                                                                                                               searching   greater  delight.

Storage Worries

Written on the dry leaves are
Stories many, epics, mere
Love songs, prayers holy, 
Secret chants, riddles of the skies.

2

Fragrance of roses

Unstoppable my tears flow

My grief rains what can gauge it?

When my sobs sink my heart

Nesting in my wails is not hope.

When soaked, my cheeks may smell

Of the depressing thoughts overpowering my mind.

The fingers that wipe my tears

And soothe my withering heart

Alone would sense my cheeks turn pink

Emanating fragrance of roses.